Helping Kids Manage Anxiety: Strategies For Parents
In this weeks blog post, we focus on helping kids manage anxiety using proven strategies (Plus a few breathing techniques adapted for kids, that work!)
Anxiety is a normal part of growing up—but when it becomes overwhelming or interferes with daily life, kids need tools to help them cope. As a parent, it can be hard to know how to help without "fixing" or minimizing their feelings.
Fortunately, evidence-based approaches like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) offer simple, practical strategies to help children better understand and manage their anxiety. And yes—you can start using these at home today.
Let’s walk through how to support your child’s emotional regulation using a mix of CBT, ACT, and mindful breathing tools.
Step 1: Name the Feeling
Children often experience anxiety as a flood of feelings in their bodies—but they may not have the language to explain it.
CBT teaches kids to identify and label their emotions, which makes them feel more manageable.
Try This With Your Child:
Use a feelings chart to explore different emotions.
Ask, “Where do you feel that in your body?”
Model by saying, “I notice I feel nervous when I try something new too. My tummy feels tight.”
Labeling emotions doesn’t make them worse—it helps your child develop awareness and a sense of control.
Step 2: Teach a Breathing Technique That Feels Like Play
Anxious kids breathe fast and shallow, which tells the brain there’s danger—even if there isn’t. Slow, intentional breathing helps activate the body’s calming system (the parasympathetic nervous system).
Try These Kid-Friendly Breathing Exercises:
“Smell the Flower, Blow the Candle”
Inhale slowly through the nose (smell the flower)
Exhale gently through the mouth (blow out the candle)
Box Breathing (Ages 6+)
Inhale for 4 seconds
Hold for 4 seconds
Exhale for 4 seconds
Hold for 4 seconds
Teddy Bear Breathing (Ages 3–7)
Have your child lie down with a stuffed animal on their belly
Watch the bear rise and fall as they breathe in and out
Make it playful and non-pressured. Practice together when they’re not anxious so the skill feels familiar when they need it.
Step 3: Externalize the Worry
Sometimes, worry feels too big to face. CBT encourages children to “externalize” anxiety—to view it as something separate from themselves, not who they are.
Try This:
Give the worry a name: “Worry Monster,” “Mr. What-If,” “Anxious Annie”
Ask: “What is the worry saying right now?”
Follow up with: “What would you say back?”
This helps your child recognize anxious thoughts as just thoughts, not facts.
Step 4: Make Room for Feelings
Instead of trying to “get rid” of anxiety, ACT helps kids make space for it while still doing what matters to them.
Help your child understand:
“It’s okay to feel nervous. You can carry your worry with you and still try.”
Use metaphors like:
"Feelings are like clouds—they pass."
"You can put your worry in a backpack and take it with you to school."
This teaches kids that they don’t have to feel 100% calm to be brave.
Step 5: Focus on Values, Not Fear
Ask your child:
“What kind of person do you want to be?”
“What’s important to you—even when you feel nervous?”
This ACT-based approach helps shift focus away from avoidance (what they’re afraid of) and toward values-based action.
Example:
“You want to be someone who tries new things—even when it’s scary? That’s courage.”
Celebrate small wins: “You were scared and did it anyway. That’s real bravery.”
Pair that with CBT’s behavioral experiments like gradual exposure, so they build confidence through action.
Final Thoughts for Parents
You don’t need to be a therapist to help your child navigate anxiety. Your job isn’t to eliminate every fear, but to walk beside them as they learn to manage it.
Here’s a quick recap of what you can try at home:
🧠 Label and normalize feelings
🌬 Practice calming breathing together
💬 Talk back to worry thoughts
🧍 Allow feelings without judgment
🎯 Focus on values and brave behavior
And most importantly—model these behaviors yourself. When your child sees you naming your own feelings, slowing your breath, or showing up despite fear, you’re giving them the most powerful lesson of all.
“Children learn more from what you are than what you teach.” — W.E.B. Du Bois
If anxiety is getting in the way of your child’s daily life, consider working with one of our licensed therapist’s, trained in CBT or ACT for children. Early tools lead to lifelong resilience.
